My Reflections…

Reflections from life… a journey to discover life and relationships

Whose fan are you?

I have a friend who was and is an ardent fan of the South movie Superstar Rajinikanth. She has watched all his movies not once but multiple times. She has watched the last released movie of Rajinikanth more than 20 times.  I am not a movie buff and certainly have not been fan of any movie star anytime in my life, even during my teen. I just could not bring myself to understand why people flock around movie heroes. I even could not bring myself to understand how they use this popularity to become politicians, once their scope in the cine world dooms. Indian politics has remained a favorite destination for actors post 45 years of age. Real life heroes amuse me better than the silver screen achievers.
To my understanding the word “fan” means an ardent follower.
I know a man who started His life in humble carpentry and made his way into the hearts of billions of people. He has been a super hero for decades and centuries. His movies make the blockbuster and His story lines still remains evergreen. His life a true sacrifice and an inspiration. I always look forward to Him.  He is my Father, Friend and all! He has touched my life. He is the tower of my strength and the light of my life. He has inspired me to be patient, loving and honest. He is always with me and never have I faced any life’s circumstances without Him. I am happy to have Him on Board. He has helped me to be a better human being. He provides guidance and peace of mind. I am a Fan of Jesus Christ, who sacrificed His precious life for you and me. I do not practice Him as a religion, he is my inspirer! He is my way of Life!
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Do not Look Down, Look Up

Daddy has always been my favorite hero right from my very early age. He always takes us on some very adventurous trips. Most of us would have seen our fathers as heroes in our childhood. Once when I was six, our family was trekking on a mountain. We happened to walk on the edge of a deep valley. Though I was geared enough for the walk, I was so scared to walk by myself on the edge, when I looked down; I saw huge boulders, thick forest, thickets, dark foliage, and tall trees all over the valley. My dad quickly understood what I was going through, in a wink of the eye, I was sitting on his shoulders and he was marching his way forward on the valley edge. I was still shuddering with the scared feeling. As though he could read my mind, he quickly told me “Do not look down, look up”. At that moment I stopped looking down and looked up. What I saw there was a spectacular blue sky with wonderful patterns of cottony clouds, moving about and changing their shapes every time. I had a good time sky gazing, while my father safely crossed over the edge. I no longer felt scared anymore.
After so many years I heard someone else tell me the same thing again “Do not look down, look up”.  The sun was setting in the west, though a delayed monsoon, there still were some scattered grey clouds in the sky. The sun suddenly got lost into the grey patch on the western horizon, after a moment my friend and I witnessed the most spectacular sky event. The sun peeked through the clouds and the rays were so apparently seen as though they were touching the earth in clear blocks. We could get a glimpse of this spectacle only because we happened to be riding on the office shuttle on the elevated road that connects Electronics City with Bangalore. I quickly looked down, a thick concrete jungle, not even a single patch of green. The jungle looked more scarier than the fieriest jungle. It was spoiling the spectacle of the evening. I remarked that to my friend,Nupur. She quickly replied back saying… do not look down, look up!
In life’s tribulation we sometimes may not find answers to certain tough and trying circumstances. However, we may find strength to live through it if we do not look down, but look up… look up to God… where lays the solace.

Right going Wrong, Wrong going Right

Defining right and wrong can get too complicated if one is asked to define it. What seems right to one may be wrong in another’s perspective. Most of us experience the confusion of what to be done when it comes to very sensitive issues in relationships. What may seem right to you may be perceived wrong by another. Sometimes, interrogating oneself may reveal that what we thought was right perhaps was perceived as wrong in our beloved’s mind. Is it really perceived wrong or is our mind too egoistic to accept the fact that we were wrong.

My reflection today is based on a personal experience of mine that taught me a very special lesson. A lesson that I thought was worth sharing. At the end of this article you will learn why I call this a special lesson.

My husband loves watching a particular sport. In the evening after we get back home from work, most of our Tuesday and Wednesday evenings evaporate into this sport. When he is not watching this sport he is working till he dozes off. I found it very strange that he gets lost in the sport and work, ignoring me. At first I started resenting this particular behavior of his. Being a part of a joint family we only have the weekday evenings for ourselves. I thought to myself that what he was doing was not fair and it is entirely wrong and unacceptable. We had several arguments about this behavior which only aggravated the difficulty without rendering any solution. Both were losing our peace of mind.

It is a little more than a year that we are married now. In all of this one year we have together seen a lot of ups and downs. If I have to really scale them all they would balance out each other and stand cancelled. Every negative feeling we developed towards each other had a very positive feeling that cancelled out the negative feeling and strike a balance. Now, after a year I feel that my husband loves me just so so much and he just cares for me more than my parents do. So, why I am bothered by a sport that he loves watching and enjoys watching. Did it take him away from me? Did it make him love me any less? NO. So why it did always occur to me that this behavior was wrong? Now, after a year, I see myself as someone who had perceived the whole thing as wrong or gross behavior.

He still continues to watch the game… what more I have become a fan too! The game has brought us all the more closer. We have quality time of togetherness…just him and me 🙂   

  Is’nt it a special lesson ?

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Jove My Love

Fairytales always start with “in a far away kingdom” and ends with “and lived happily ever after” there is no death and endless happiness. As a child I used to love fairytales. I have read 100s of them, and still they continue to amuse me. Most fairytales consist of similar characters such as a beautiful princess, prince charming, a kingdom, people, witch, and a spell. Every time I read a story, it would all run in front of my eyes like a beautiful dream. I never related any of these fairytale moments to real life. Or rather never got a chance to relate it to anything. Fairy tales are so magical and too santaclauish to be true.
However, when I saw it snowing for the first time in my life, I realized that a magic moment is at hand. The next morning when I opened the door of the house I saw the whole Salt Lake City covered in snow. It indeed was a magical moment. I quickly got geared and went out for a walk with my sister. I got lost in the beauty of the valley. I closed my eyes and when I opened it again I could’nt believe that I was in earth anymore. The whole face of the earth was covered in a white fluffy and amazing carpet. My mind quickly worked its way to the fairytales that I have read and thought that I was indeed in a far away kingdom.
There are two possibilities with dreams. In life it is possible that our dreams may end up coming true or it is also possible that a slice of our life may end as a dream. The former is better than the latter. The latter may leave scars that cannot be healed.
You may not have seen the world
Yet you saw a slice of this life through my eyes
Remembering the beat of your pounding heart
… just like daddy’s. lub dub lub dub
… always beating in my ears
You are the most precious and sweetest gift
… a dream cut short
The gap you created will remain a gap
… till I join you
Mamma loves you
… my baby, I know you are safer in Heavenly Father’s hands than in me
love you baby…
… after all in life there are no “happily ever afters”
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I love surprises! I have always wanted to marry a person who would give me surprise gifts and events. As soon as we were engaged, my husband and I had almost 4 beautiful months of courtship. Though we were a sea apart from each other, there was not a single day I remember that we did not speak to each other. My mobile phone was my twin all these 4 months. I never part from it at all. I used to share every event that happened everyday with my husband. It always seemed that we have so much to speak and very less time. Late night talks, early morning talks, less sleep, more time on talking… and then when I finally hang up, I would still have so much that I have not spoken at all. That is signature courtship. Everyone who have gone through this phase of life may understand what I mean.

Very busy life! Totally hectic hours in office… after hours with my fiancé on phone… it was one of the fine phases of life that was worth living through.

One dark late evening, as I walked out of office… a red ford almost rammed into me. Totally panicking, and gripped in death fear I looked at the driver. I could not believe my stupidity… it can only happen in movies… how is it possible that I could see my fiancé driving, he is not even in the country. I really had to take a second look to confirm whether out of the blue it was him. And yes! It was him… that was surprise beyond words! He was actually in India.

This is not the only surprise, he has surprised me with goodies on Valentine’s day, birthday, wedding day, wedding anniversary, and many other days with rose bouquets, chocolates, soft toys, greeting cards and many many more. He always carefully plans things and makes it all fall in place just at the right time. He is so meticulous and a great planner! But none of these surprises stirred my soul as much as what he did this friendship day.

I had a call late afternoon on friendship day this year, a very surprised and crazy voice spoke, after speaking with a lot of emotion, it told me thank you for the nice rose bouquet and the goodies. I was taken by surprise. The call was from my close friend, who has not just stood by me at happy times, but at all times, has cared for me like a mother, and means more than a friend to me. My friend , Jiji! I quickly turned to my husband who was helping me with cleaning the house. The most loveliest grin was on his face. I was touched. He remembered to acknowledge the woman who deserves all of this and more on a very special day meant to remember her kindness. My baby Teddy Bear you are the best husband anyone can ever find! People can think about themselves. It takes an extraordinary person to think of people who mean so much to their spouse. Thanks for being the way you are. Love u so much.

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My First Love

I am sure what strike past your mind when you read the title. Yes, what you will read here is an account of my encounter with my first love. Ever since the existence of human race, what people seek after and want is LOVE. All of us seek after love and want to be loved. It is this love that has helped the human race grow. It is this that has helped us to be cordial and considerate with each other. It is this that still keeps our species alive. I would not say that love is a unique emotion with human beings. However, I know for sure that love is the most sought after and priceless possession. Half the prisons around the world would be empty if people practiced or were shown love.

The Bible says, “love thy God….. and love thy neighbor as thyself… on this hangs all the law” (Matthew 22:39).

If love was not so integral, then Jesus Christ himself would not have pointed out that all the laws hang on this small single word principle called “LOVE”.

If I am asked to define love, I probably may not be successful in defining them in words. Love encompasses everything that cannot be put down in words. It is a very special feeling that only the soul feels.  All of us at some point in time would have been in love. Sometimes, reflecting back on them, we may feel foolish, or perhaps even have tears rolling down our cheeks. However, they all would remain as sweet memories for years to come.

When I opened my eyes, I saw a completely different world before me. Everything looked new. A never before feeling filled my heart. I was anxious, did not know anyone around me. The beeps of the hospital room scared me. I could not help but cry. I cried loudly. And, then, in a twinkle of the eye, someone held me so close to themselves. I felt a familiar warmth of the body and the tenderness of love all around me. A tight grip, a fine hug, and a fond kiss. A safe feeling enshrouded me. I lay there for sometime so cozily amid the odds.

I opened my eyes again to see who it was, it was my mother, my first love!

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